nudityandnerdery:

tiredrussian:

First base: holding hands

Second base: ritual sacrifice 

Third base: joining the illuminati and becoming the masterminds behind governments and corporations

And to think that it’s the gay agenda that conservatives keep worrying about.

(via commonly-nonsensical)

pimptav:

thescalexwrites:

Yes. Writing a book is the easiest thing in the whole world. In fact, let me show you just how easy it is!

Goal: change all this paper into a book.

Eh, not that hard. I mean, you just have to read, right?

Maybe scratch a few notes in the margins as reminders.

Yeah, writing and editing isn’t time consuming or painstaking at all.

In fact, I find it quite relaxing. Good meditation. No stress whatsoever!

I mean, it’s not like writing a book involves any train of thought or decision making, like when to cut scenes, because whatever you write is perfect and there to stay!

I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m going to rewrite the first chapter 51 TIMES to make sure it’s how I want it, right? That’d be crazy.

And no, it’s not like I spent over 3,000 HOURS READING AND REVISING 14 DRAFTS OF THE BOOK to make this book readable.

No sweat, no tears, no blood, and DEFINITELY no coffee stains.

Nope, writing is the easiest job in the world. I don’t see why anyone thinks otherwise. I mean, all we do is scribble words and take a few out, right?

We feel no satisfaction AT ALL when we receive a shipment of the final product for a book signing. *yawn* BOR–ING.

Nope, we don’t get excited at all. It’s just another day in the life.

And the sequels? Bitch, please. That’s child’s play.

You’re right. Writing a book is so easy. It’s not stressful, not exciting, and it’s definitely not worth the reward of holding something that USED TO BE EXCLUSIVELY IN YOUR HEAD AND NOW YOU GET TO SHARE IT WITH THE WHOLE WORLD.

Im not sure this scares me or inspires me…

(via titanandclank-deactivated201811)

shikarius:

shikarius:

shikarius:

shikarius:

Sometimes I like to think of myself as a Reasonable Adult who makes Reasonable Adult Decisions.

And then sometimes Amazon marketing figures out that I’m pretending

Adulting powers activate (I’m a little concerned about the Minions box)

Taste test result: Odinforce is far more fragrant and flavorful, though both are amazingly smooth for oral caffeine delivery systems. This is legitimately tasty coffee. I rarely take my coffee black because of the acidity, but these were surprisingly smooth (which is in line with a darker roast not necessarily meaning stronger coffee). I wish they sold the whole roasted beans; I’d love to grind these up fresh. (THEY DO.) Dad likes the more flavorful Odinforce best while I’m more partial to the smoother Death Wish, but I’m very pleased with both.

Overall, I’d marry this coffee, probably.

Update: I think I’ve made a minor logistical error. I think you’re not meant to drink a cup and a half of each in the space of 10 minutes.

…I think I’m starting to feel colors.

The gates of Valhalla are open. Witness me.

(via shikarius-blog)

idiopathicsmile:

the trouble with writing is that it’s literally always easier to just lie facedown on your floor and make inarticulate noises

(via wasdplz)

scholla:

me after death *slams the hell’s gate open, takes off the bra and the shoes, sits on satan’s lap*: I’m fuckin’ home, what’s the wifi password

(via toodrunktofindaurl)