I’m not generally comfortable digging up old drafts for several reasons ((which surprisingly don’t include how poor the characterizations were or how awful the narrative was))— I don’t mind talking about the changes and referring to things that used to be, but digging through deleted scenes themselves is always hit & miss. It took me so long to be happy with the story that I try not to upset that mental peace, y’know? But I’m halfway through a second bottle of wine and this’ll distract me from throwing my external harddrive out the bedroom window.

Imagine the obligatory disclaimers/warnings: skewed characterizations, terrible editing, non-canon interactions, etc etc etc. These scenes are from 5~6 years ago, so they’re a bit rough. o___O

Gonna go ahead and tag @andrewminyardd for posterity, ha.

…..

“Do you talk about me with all of your therapists?” Neil asked.

“Better to expound on your serious issues than to listen to that ‘seek your inner peace’ shit on my own,” Andrew answered.

“You ever talk to her about how many serious issues you and Kevin have?”

“You’re being delusional again,” Andrew informed him.

“You can’t lie well enough to pretend that there aren’t serious problems there,” Neil said. “You want me to tell her? I don’t mind, if you think it’s going to be too awkward for you.”

Andrew’s smile was a clear threat. “We’ll get around to that next year. This year it’s you and your mental defects. You have enough that we never run out of things to say.”

“I’d been looking forward to meeting you since May,” Betsy admitted.

“She’s a sucker for lost causes,” Andrew told Neil.

Neil looked over at Dr. Dobson. “How can you stand him?”

“One Wednesday at a time,” Andrew answered easily, and he slanted a look her way as well. “Now you’ve met him. So?”

“So,” she echoed, and a slow smile curved her lips. “I can’t help but think that the two of you are a brilliant pair.”

“Don’t lump us into the same group,” Andrew advised her.

“Do you think you’re so different?”

“There are plenty of differences,” Andrew told her, gesturing between them. “I am a threat to society. He is a suicidal retard who’s dragging the rest of us down.”

Neil mirrored the gesture. “He’s the one Kevin wants, but I’m the one Kevin’s sleeping with.”

It was, admittedly, not the best way at all to break the news to the goalie. Neil didn’t look to see how Betsy reacted to that announcement. He knew better than to take his eyes off his teammate. Andrew had nothing to prepare himself for that heads-up and, without his drugs in place, there was absolutely nothing to help brace the impact. His cocoa only made it halfway to his mouth; it jerked to a stop so fast it sloshed all over his fingers.

“By the way,” Neil said, taking very careful note of the frozen look on Andrew’s face. “We started that back on Halloween.”

The silence that followed that was short, but Neil still felt it. At length Andrew laughed and drained his mug. “Should have seen that coming,” he said, but there was a cool edge to his amusement that told Neil everything he needed to know. “Whatever. Someone had to do it.”

“Everyone laughed when I said he wanted you, but I was right,” Neil said stubbornly.

“It really is an endless cycle, isn’t it?” Andrew asked, wiping his hand on the couch. He leaned toward Neil with the air of one sharing a secret. “The only things Kevin can love are Exy and Riko. The only thing Riko can love is Exy. The only thing you can love is Exy. You and your worthless devotions. I’m sensing a pattern.” He pressed a finger to his own cheekbone. “Hurry up the transition or you still won’t be enough to keep him.”

Neil felt his stomach clench. “I am nothing like Riko.”

“Says you,” Andrew agreed amiably, “but your opinion isn’t the one that matters, is it?”
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Kevin turned on him. “He’s still mad at you,” he noted, knowing better than to think Andrew’s sour mood was only due to the depositions. Andrew hadn’t talked to Neil since that morning. “What did you say to him?”

Neil thought about the heat of Andrew’s blood on his hand and a steady heartbeat beneath his palm. How could someone so cold be so warm? “I told him I don’t mind that you still want him.”

“He told me no,” Kevin said. “Try not to rub it in.”

“If he said yes, you wouldn’t hesitate, would you?” Neil asked, a challenge without any heat in it.

“We’re together now.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

Kevin didn’t answer that immediately. He turned on the nearest rack and started rummaging through the clothes. Neil caught his elbow to stop him, forcing Kevin to pay attention to him.

“We’re all so broken,” Kevin said at last. He turned his hand over and studied the lines on his palm. “We’re all born with something missing, so that we can find someone else to complete us. That’s what my mother told me once. I still believe it, but living leaves so many holes in us. It’s so easy to need more than one person.”

Neil considered that, wondering if it made sense. In the end it didn’t matter if he understood or not. If that was what Kevin thought, it wasn’t going to change. He let his hand fall away. “If you can make him say yes, then go for it. I’ll still be here until you tell me to leave.”
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Neil gave up on subtlety. “I kissed Andrew last Friday.”

Kevin’s expression smoothed out immediately. He turned sideways in his chair to face Neil. “Oh?”

Neil waited for something more, but that seemed to be all that was coming. He’d prepared for anger, for incredulity, for–well, anything but that calm acceptance. “Yes,” he said at length, thrown.

Kevin propped his elbow on the table and cradled his cheek in his hand. “Did he hurt you?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Did he hurt you?” Kevin repeated patiently.

“No. He’s been avoiding me since then, though.”

Kevin smiled, looking very much like the cat who’d caught the canary. “Oops,” he murmured. It sounded like a taunt, but Neil didn’t think it was him Kevin was mocking.

“You… don’t sound at all surprised,” Neil said.

“How stupid do you think I am?” Kevin asked. “I’ve been obsessively watching Andrew for a year now. Did you honestly think I could miss when you started watching him too?”

“No?” Neil guessed.

Kevin quirked an eyebrow at him for that weak answer. “I wasn’t so sure about Andrew, but he gave himself away last week. I’ve never seen him so angry.”

Neil searched for a good response or defense and came up empty. “It doesn’t change this,” he said. “I don’t want it to.”

“It changes things,” Kevin said. “It can’t help but change things. That doesn’t necessarily mean the results are a bad thing. I already told Coach we had it under control.”

Neil stared. “…Coach?”

Kevin waved his free hand in a ‘who knows?’ gesture. “Something Andrew said or did the night you were kidnapped, I guess,” he said. “Coach took me aside later to demand an explanation. Apparently Andrew wouldn’t tell him anything. He wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to upset the balance on the team.”

Neil was glad he’d missed out on that conversation. “I really hope you’re joking.”

“My sense of humor is almost as thin as yours,” Kevin said.

Neil rubbed at his temples. “I won’t believe you’re okay with this.”

“I’ve already had a few days to run through my angry jealousy routine,” Kevin said, drumming his fingers on his cheek. “None of it is directed at you or Andrew; it’s simply frustration at the situation as a whole. Consider my stake in this mess. Why shouldn’t I be annoyed that he’ll let you kiss him when he’ll never let me?”

“We can work on that,” Neil promised him quietly. “We’ll find a way to make him say yes.”

“Perhaps he will, perhaps he won’t,” Kevin said. “If I can’t have him, at least I can watch the pair of you and pretend. That’s almost as good.”

“Sometimes you sound so much like Nicky that it gives me chills.”

Kevin offered him a lazy smile that was all heat. They’d been together for three months, but that look was still enough to make Neil’s mouth go dry. Kevin leaned in to kiss him and Neil almost didn’t care that they were in public.

“Trying to taste Andrew?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“I’m imagining what the two of you look like together,” Kevin said in a low voice. He was still close enough that his mouth brushed Neil’s as he spoke. Neil wasn’t sure if it was that or his words that sent that warm heat to the pit of his stomach. “I’m wondering if you’d fight as fiercely in bed as you do everywhere else. I’m wondering who would top, and how much of it would be about control.”
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Neil scooped up his backpack and started for the door, the rest of the Foxes behind him. Nicky grimaced at Aaron as they went down the hall. “I can’t believe you knew all this time and you didn’t tell me,” he groused. “I had to find out from Coach of all people that-”

He forgot the rest of the words when Neil opened the door, because Andrew had only made it halfway down the sidewalk before Kevin caught up with him. Kevin had dropped his bag in favor of holding onto Andrew. His hands were buried in Andrew’s back pockets to keep the goalie pulled firmly up against him. Andrew had his fingers locked around Kevin’s wrists, presumably from an aborted attempt to pry Kevin loose. He seemed to have forgotten what he was doing, not that Neil blamed him. Kevin’s kisses tended to be distracting like that.

One rejected offer and eight months of silent wanting and confusion had worn down both of them where they hadn’t let anyone else see it. It was glaringly obvious now that Kevin finally had permission to cross that line. Kevin kissed Andrew like he was afraid it was both the first and last time he’d ever be able to, putting everything he had into it. Neil’s stomach clenched with need at the sight of it. They looked–really good together.

At the sound of the door opening, Andrew turned his head to break the kiss. He was smart enough to look away from the stadium rather than at his teammates’ gaping faces. Kevin slid his gaze Neil’s way and tilted his head to murmur at Andrew’s ear. Neil couldn’t hear what Kevin said, but he could guess, judging by the way Andrew’s knuckles went white.

“You want me and Aaron to crash in Matt’s room tonight?” Nicky asked.

“No point,” Neil said as Andrew slowly untangled himself from Kevin. “He’s injured.”

“Shut the door,” Coach called from the locker room. “I can hear you.”

“Hey, Coach,” Nicky started.

“Five miles, Hemmick,” Coach shot back.

“But-”

“Six. Shut the fucking door.”
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“I want a new tattoo,” Kevin said. Andrew arched an eyebrow at him, not expecting that. “A permanent cover-up. I want his number off my face, and I don’t want him to be able to mark us ever again.” Kevin glanced at Neil to include him in the venture. He didn’t have to ask what Neil thought of the idea. Neil wanted everything of Riko’s off his body. He couldn’t do anything about the memories or scars, but covering up Riko’s number was a good enough start.

Andrew stared up at Kevin in silence; rather, he stared at the black patch he’d scribbled over Kevin’s “two” tattoo. Neil tried to imagine Kevin without the number. It was as strange as it was exhilarating. Kevin had had his tattoo for at least ten years now.

“Go, then,” Andrew said at length. “Any artist in the country would make time for you.”

Kevin shook his head. He reached up and pressed a thumb to the scratches on Andrew’s face. Riko had bitten him hard enough to draw blood right in the spot he planned to put Andrew’s number. Andrew had used glass to scrape the teeth marks off his skin. Luckily the cuts weren’t deep, which meant they were healing at a good pace.

“I want you to come with us,” Kevin said. “These have to finish healing first.”

“Notice that I have no tattoo to cover up.”

“I can’t match with Neil and not match with you,” Kevin said. “It’d be a lie against everything I am and want.”

“I do not belong to you.” Andrew bat Kevin’s hand aside, but Kevin caught his wrist.

“There’s a crucial difference between belonging to and belonging with. I won’t let him take you from me.”

Andrew gazed up at him in silence for so long that Neil thought he wasn’t going to answer. Finally Andrew dropped his gaze to his wrist, studying the way Kevin’s fingers looked so pale against the black gauze wrapped around his forearm. There was a distant look in Andrew’s eyes Neil didn’t trust. At last Andrew gave a faint shrug. “So you say.”

“Andrew?” Neil pressed.

Andrew pulled his arm free. “We’ll get your stupid tattoos,” he said, “if you can give us a win at finals. Yes?” He flashed Kevin a mocking smile that looked a little too self-directed for Neil’s comfort. “Schedule the appointment for May.”

“You think we can’t win?” Neil asked as Andrew pushed past them.

“I think we’d better,” Andrew said breezily. “If we lose, I’m playing for the Ravens next year. Signed the contracts and everything.”

“You—what?!” Kevin choked.

Andrew turned around and walked backward. “Is that going to be a problem?”

Neil’s heart was somewhere in his shoes, but he made himself laugh. The sound was enough to silence Kevin, and even Andrew stopped to eye him. Neil forced a vicious smile onto his lips as he closed the distance between himself and Andrew. “Brilliant,” he said, digging his hands into Andrew’s back pockets to drag the goalkeeper up against him. He kissed Andrew hard, hoping none of his desperation bled into it. “It must have pissed him off, thinking you had that much faith in a team like ours.”

His words were enough to get that sharp look out of Andrew’s eyes, and the goalie answered Neil with a cruel smile of his own. “He was furious.”

“Good,” Neil said, kissing Andrew again. In response, Andrew wound an arm around Neil’s neck to keep him in place. Neil focused on the feel of Andrew’s body against his. As terrified as he was by Andrew’s audacity, he knew Andrew wouldn’t have agreed to such a deal if he didn’t believe in his team’s chances. There was no room for doubt anymore; there was no room for mistakes. There was only victory, and they had no choice but to take it.

“We’ll make the appointment for May, then,” Neil said. “What’re we going to get?”

“As long as they’re not numbers, I don’t care.”

“Flowers?” Neil asked, just to bait him. “Pink and yellow daisies?”

“There is something seriously wrong with you.”

“Think it’s terminal?”

“Only to those dumb enough to stick it out with you.”

“So we agree you’re not as smart as you think you are.”

Andrew pressed a finger against Neil’s mouth. “Ahhh,” he murmured. “Careful.”

Neil bit him in response: not hard, just enough to get Andrew’s attention where Neil wanted it. Andrew gazed down at his finger where it was caught between Neil’s teeth, and Neil closed his lips around Andrew’s fingertip.

Neil heard Kevin’s approach, but he still shivered at the unexpected kiss Kevin buried against his throat. Andrew’s gaze snapped up to meet Neil’s when he felt that, and Neil didn’t think it was the night that made Andrew’s eyes look so dark.

“We’re going inside,” Kevin said at Neil’s ear.

“Everyone’s here,” Neil pointed out.

“They invented locks for a reason.”

Neil didn’t know how to argue with that reasoning. He didn’t think he wanted to, anyway.