Q

Anonymous asked:

hey, i'm really sorry to bother you as i know you'd like to move on from the foxes, but i'm rereading the series again and i just... i really relate to a lot of andrew's mindset in the apathy and numbness, and it's equally validating and painful to see a character similar to myself in fiction, and i was just wondering if he ever gets better? if he ever becomes more feeling, less dead inside? thank you <3

A

Yes, but it is a learning process that is going to take him years. Feeling anything for Neil was not part of the plan, but once he accepts that and lets Neil in, he can start teaching himself how to let other things matter. He’ll never be as.. attached? expressive? as the so-called “normal” characters are, because Andrew does have some issues/chemical imbalances/there is an actual word I am looking for that I am failing to find – that he refuses to fully address or treat. ((not necessarily via medication, but a bit less apathy toward himself would probably help, not to mention more workarounds for the deep lows in his now-untreated depression)).

He slowly learns to trust the things in his life enough to let them in, whether it’s Neil or Exy or the cats, and these things are worth giving a shit about. These things are important enough to wake up for and to pay attention to and to care about, and Andrew learns to feel for all of them. Is he ever going to be a bundle of sunshine and feels? Absolutely not. But he stops counting the seconds between waking and sleeping & the breaths that take him closer to an escape in death.

Dec. 20 2015
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