! ! ! Pop quiz ! ! !

If someone tells you I do not like being touched, do you:

a) try to guilt them into it with exaggerated expressions of hurt feelings “Why are you treating me like that? I thought we were friends!”

b) attempt to make yourself the exception to the rule while going in for a squeeze “But it’s just me and you love me so it’s okay!”

c) point blank ask “Who hurt you that you’re like this?”

or

d) respect their fucking boundaries and keep your hands to yourself

In related news, I bit another coworker today.

///  ETA: Yes, another, because the “clever” ones decide they’ll steal hugs or drape themselves across me when I’m carrying heavy things. They forget that I am 5′3″ and the perfect height to chomp the shit out of their shoulders. I learned years ago to follow up “I don’t like being touched” with “and I am a biter” for this very reason.

They laugh it off.

Then they learn better.