we'll be back later, lovies

no-freedom–till-we-are-equal:

Hello, @korakos ! I’ve been scrolling down your blog and I found out that you like Aaron better then Nicky, Renee and Allison. Can I ask you what traits make him so likeable? + I don’t know if you’ve ever done that (you probably did and was asked about it like a thousand times) but who is in your top 5 favourite characters from AFTG?

I probably have answered the Top 5 before, but it is a shuffling list. There have been too many drafts and too many years for it to be a static thing; their evolving stories & my aging have given me different insights and appreciations for them. The only character with a noticeable growing apathy is Abby, and that’s mostly my fault, since I axed most of her storyline.

The current top five of the Foxes are Neil, Andrew, Kevin, Dan, and Matt. Aaron is six of ten nine. I love Wymack but I also don’t believe in Healthy Father Figures so he will never make the cut as a reliable believable character.

AARON, my beloved little shithead.

Am assuming if ya’ll are here ya’ll’ve read the books but this is rambling & spoiler-ridden so it is going behind a cut. Sorry mobile users, the year trucks on and Nora is still hella obsessed with Read-Mores. Also assume there will be typos and odd grammar because a) me + proper english = notp, and b) vodka.

I LOVE AARON. Aaron, who found out he had a brother and was immediately and rudely rejected when he tried to reach out–who found out from his own mother’s mouth that she’d willingly given them up and didn’t want either of them–Aaron, who was subsequently moved cross-country and subjected to his mother’s abuse

who started getting into his mother’s drugs because they made HER feel better so why couldn’t they make HIM feel better–who started playing sports to get the hell out of the house and out of her reach, to commit violence against other people without recourse–who despite everything accepted Luther’s help to reunite with his brother and who promised Andrew they’d stick together through graduation no more other friends no more girlfriends no nothing

who saw his mother murdered by a brother that would barely speak to him and who was taken in by a cousin he barely knew–who came to Palmetto State University hating what it said about him that he qualified for their team of rejects but also knowing it was his only way out of a dead-end life–who renewed his promise to Andrew despite having no real reason to trust him

who will love Katelyn to the end of his days–who is studying medicine and has the second best grades after Kevin damn-him Day–who will get that picket-fence future most of us have already given up on

I love Aaron because he is unapologetic. Because he should be so fucking tired by now but he doesn’t feel that strain at his back. Because he persists in putting one foot in front of the other no matter what. Two steps forward, one back–progress is progress and Aaron is going to claw himself out of this hellhole at his own pace. He is Seth’s bitterness and fear, Andrew’s complete lack of social niceties, and Neil’s lack of filter. He holds grudges and keeps receipts and does not have time for the small talk song-and-dance polite society demands.

Aaron lost, and lost, and lost, but he never truly lost himself. He buried his anchor deep and held tight to it, and he’s going to make it out on the other end. Aaron’s HEA is hella important to me.