Unfuck your Election day by getting your ass to the polls. Here’s some useful shit for your epic journey on November motherfucking 6, 2012:
- What the fuck does my asshole state want me to bring with me to prove I’m not a zombie voter or some shit? Calm your tits and just choose your asshole state from this fucking list, then click on “Commit and Plan to Vote.” They’ll tell you what shit to bring on your quest.
- Who the fuck do I contact if dickshits try to fuck with my voting? Call one of these toll-free hotlines, these badass motherfuckers know their shit and are wise in the ways of giving vote-supressing dickshits the fucking smackdown:
1-866-MYVOTE1 (866-698-6831)
1-866-OUR-VOTE (866-687-8683)
1-888-VE-Y-VOTA (en Español)
- Can I get in on that early/absentee voting shit? Fuckin’ how? (Second to fucking last on the menu.)
- Sandy just fucked my shit right up, how the dick am I supposed to vote? (Mainly NYC info)
- When the fuck do I have to get my ass in line by?
- The League of Women Voters are rifuckulously on top of shit, and they’ve got your back as a motherfucking voter, lady or not. Have more questions, such as whether or not you get time off to vote? Then step on over to their nuts-blastingly awesome and user-friendly search tool that lets you look shit up by state and topic.
This list is fucking incomplete—so if you have anything important, how about adding that shit? People out there could fucking use it.Most importantly, get your ass to the polls and vote, or so help me god I will haunt you in your nightmares.
Notes
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Today is the day! Godspeed.
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