in retail, we don’t say “i love you”. we say “i got you a five hour energy shot, knock it back and let’s do this shit” and i think that’s beautiful
Pssst, Andrew would go back for King Fluffkins and Sir Fat Cat McCatterson pass it on
The “I love making people who already hate me, hate me more” squad
“why do all moms do this”
wheres the tw:(
When a great idea strikes but then I actually go to write it
- Jedi: Pisces, Leo, Cancer, Taurus, Libra, Gemini
- Sith: Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Aries, Capricorn, Virgo
- Planning stories: yaaas
- Planning dialogue: YAAAAAS
- Actually writing: No
- Editing: please kill me
- what she says: im fine
- what she's thinking: if bernie sanders loses to that racist loudmouth clump of hair i will literally move to antarctica and start a new life for myself whilst feeding off of fish and the evergrowing rage i have for america
Asexual bases
First base: holding hands
Second base: ritual sacrifice
Third base: joining the illuminati and becoming the masterminds behind governments and corporations
And to think that it’s the gay agenda that conservatives keep worrying about.
(via commonly-nonsensical)