gganseyiii:

Ok so I totally understand the concept of asexuality, but like, I just saw this guy I know, and a thought I had was: wow I’d totally have sex with him. I’m guessing asexual people don’t think or feel like that? I’m trying very hard to understand it

*raises hand*

I can look at someone and appreciate the aesthetics of them, like oh, she’s pretty, oh, he has a nice face/nice shoulders, but the thought of me touching them or them touching me is like “NOPE” and if someone tries I will defend my personal space to the death. I don’t understand physical attraction. Like, how can you just look at a person and think 10/10 would fuck???

I’m not sex-repulsed — I don’t think sex is this awful terrible disgusting thing — I just have absolutely no interest in it for myself. People can bone who they wanna bone and if they wanna share the deets then sure, I’ll listen, because I’ll categorize it as research for writing. But I’ll never understand it fully, and I’m not in any real rush to.

half-sassed:

Heterosexuality is a couch. Nobody even bats an eye if you keep it in the living room for everyone to see–it’s simply expected. I mean, where the hell else would you keep it? Hidden in a bedroom? No, that would be weird.

Homosexuality is a bed. Having a bed in a public room is considered weird and gross–you’re expected to keep it in private bedroom you close the door to before anyone else comes over. Because even though there are a million and one things someone can do sitting on a bed that aren’t sexual (and plenty of ways to have sex on a couch), the first and foremost thing anyone associates beds with is sex.

Bisexuality is a Western-style futon. Sometimes it functions like a couch, sometimes it functions like a bed, but whichever position it’s in at the moment, it’s still a goddamn futon. People who want to use it as a couch give you shit for not having a real couch; people who want to use it as a bed give you shit for not having a real bed. It’s acceptable in your living room, but only if you make extra certain to put it in couch position and hide the sheets before company comes over. Otherwise, you’d better hide it in a guest room.

Asexuality is a table. No matter how many times you tell people it’s not meant to be sat on, dickheads with no manners will try to park their nasty asses on it anyway.

(via coldsaturn)

nudityandnerdery:

tiredrussian:

First base: holding hands

Second base: ritual sacrifice 

Third base: joining the illuminati and becoming the masterminds behind governments and corporations

And to think that it’s the gay agenda that conservatives keep worrying about.

(via commonly-nonsensical)